Guys Please Do Not Resort To This

Sure everyone knows that Valentine's day is complete retail sham to get you to feel the need to spend money on your loved on to prove "yes you really do love them" but to some companies, Valentine's day is the only day they have to try and convince you to buy their worthless crap. [guysgirls]

I'm talking about the Vermont Teddy Bear and Pajama Gram who obviously are unaware of what a "real woman" wants because the main products they offer are well....crap.

Let's take a poll.....

How many ladies would open up a gift on Valentine's  day, see this...... and actually want to sleep with you?

Forget the flowers and nice meal out, get me a bear with a tattoo in his sexy boxers! But just in case you were worried about the bear's health , don't worry, the box the bear is shipped in actually has an air hole.

Yes, a freaking air hole. If you are under the age of 50 and spent the average cost of $80 on this, do yourself a favor and set it on fire.

If you choose to take the risk of still getting this bear, trust me, you will lose your dignity and self respect and that my friend is worth a lot more than $80. Do you hear her friends making fun of you yet? Give it time....

The next lame Valentine's day company is the Pajama Gram company. All of the items listed on their site looks like way overpriced items they got at the on sale at an old Walmart before it was made into a "high class" Super Walmart.

Some of this stuff is more expensive than Victoria Secrets for God's sake. But the main item the company was marketing is the Hoodie-Footie Snuggle Suit™.

"Its the perfect mix between your fuzzy slippers, hoodie and soft cozy towel".

Perhaps if I was a 80 years old with 17 cats I would maybe entertain the $99 price tag but instead I'd like to keep my dignity, thanks though.

But I could be wrong, this item has apparently SOLD OUT for Valentine's day and will not be ready until September. Dammit, just when I was about to hit "add to cart".....

So please guys, do yourself a favor, save your money from these crappy gifts and take your girl out. All she wants is a little QT and some flowers.

Doing so will keep your balls firmly intact.

[guysgirls2]