There are moments (which seem to happen more during the college football off-season, then at any other time) where stories come out that simply seem too good to be true. Or in some cases too bad to be true. Whatever the case, they’re so unbelievable, so outlandish, so ridiculous, that they really need to be heard to be believed.
One of those stories came on Monday afternoon, and came courtesy of Urban Meyer, who was speaking at an Ohio coaches convention. After waxing poetic about his program, changes in recruiting tactics by younger coaches and the state of Big Ten recruiting in general, well, Urban just got a little weird.
Actually, in Urban’s defense, he was jokingly telling a story about Woody Hayes getting weird, using an old story about Bill Parcells and twisting to his use for the crowd in front of him. The story played off the fact that Hayes was a man whose sanity was often, and repeatedly called into question, something that seemingly everyone in the room must've known.
Here is the story, with a big thanks to CoachingSearch.com for sharing it with us.
Sure it may be too good to be true, but its certainly interesting none the less.
"So I guess Ohio State had lost the bowl game, so Earl Bruce brings in Woody Hayes. I had been there just a week and I'm thinking, 'Holy, this is Coach Hayes.' I'm sitting in the back. Coach Hayes was not healthy at the time, but stands up and starts laying into the coaching staff about toughness. That we have no toughness in the program. That's why we lost the game. On and on and screaming, this old guy pounding the table. He says, 'We have no toughness, and the reason is because you're not tough. No one on this staff is tough enough, and that's a problem.'
"He reaches down and grabs this box, slides the top and there was something in the box moving around. He reaches in and he pulls out this turtle. He reaches down, this turtle's snapping and he says, 'I'm going to show you toughness.' He unzips his pants and takes out whatever he takes out. The turtle reaches up and snaps at him. You see the veins and the sweat (on Hayes). He screams at the coaches, 'That's toughness! That's f'n toughness!' He reaches down, pokes the turtle right in the eye and it falls off. He wipes the sweat off his forehead and says, 'That's the problem. We don't have anybody in this room tough enough to do that right there.
"(One assistant) raises his hand and says, 'Coach, I'd do this. Just promise not to poke me in the eye.'"
So yeah, about that, huh?
Safe to say that we have officially arrived in college football's off-season.
For updates all off-season, on stories all across the college football landscape, be sure to follow Crystal Ball Run on Twitter @CrystalBallRun.
UMM DUNK OF THE YEAR. Mozgov getting Mozgoved, courtesy of DeMar DeRozan. It's even better the second time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtIGa-uCtTc
They threw away the mold after Woody Hayes was born. There will NEVER be another like him! There's NEVER been a college coach ANY better!!! He recruited me back in 77. He was the epitome of a Football Coach. Woody, Ara, Bear and Bo were the BEST Football Coaches I've ever been around. Never had the pleasure of meeting Ara, but they don't come any better than Woody Hayes. If Woody Hayes LIKED you, he'd go to the ends of the earth for you. If he DIDN'T like you, he'd CHASE your ass to the ends of the earth just as well.
Okay, my story about meeting Woody when I was a student at OSU in 1973. Next to my off campus apartment house was the Big Bear grocery store across Lane Ave. near the stadium. I'm in the store late at night and I see legendary coach Woody Hayes. And I kid you not, the man was screaming at a pound of hamburger. But I was a journalism major so couldn't pass up the chance to meet up with Coach Hayes. I walk up and say hello and he stops screaming at the hamburger and says "How are you son?" And he was very cordial and asked me how classes were going and where was I from and etc. I told him classes were fine and he replied positively and that was it. He then went back to screaming at the pound of hamburger. Ah, my brush with greatness.
Um...dont know which is more shocking: letting the turtle snap at "whateverhe takes out" or the assistant asking that his eye not be poked. Did he have another suggestion? Gross!